Giggin' With Ernie
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Quote of the Day
"Everybody's got a cell phone that makes pancakes, so they don't want to rock the boat, they don't want to make trouble. People have been bought off with gizmos and toys. Nobody questions anything anymore."
- George Carlin
Serenely Giggin'
It's time to give these dumb-ass things their own category here at the Bazoo. A couple fell through the cracks, so I'm archiving the old ones as well. That's right - I enjoy wasting my time... Now flip your wig with this blast of ear-demolishing rock and roll from the recent past ---
Are You Fried Right Out of Your Giant Skull?
Some promo buttons for another pile of glass here in Vancouver,
actually touted on their website as "highly collectible." The sad thing
is, for all I know, maybe they are. Maybe strange and dazed condo
groupies walk among us, collecting condo gear, pasting slick brochures
into treasured condo scrapbooks, having high-pitched debates about which
condo development is cooler - Pulse or Zone. I'm getting fairly indifferent to the fire hose blast of one cynically hip condo come-on after
another, but they are often difficult to ignore. I've seen a lot of Vespas, European-style faucets and soft-focus cappuccinos in my day.
But these buttons bear closer examination. They speak volumes - lousy, really terrible volumes - about the state of affairs not only here, but the world in general, I would imagine. But mostly here. Particularly, a button that asks "are you high?" when the building they're plugging is roughly five short blocks from one of the worst open-air drug markets on the continent. I hate to use the worn out "disconnect" fallback to describe how fucked up this is, but really, in this case the socket's been yanked right out of the wall, the wires have been stripped, and the fusebox has blown. Then again, they might actually be appealing to self-absorbed, reasonably affluent asshole coke-fiends. Read them again. Yeah, it all fits. First stupidity becomes a virtue, now a baseless strutting, cock-measuring egomania. Or worse, the aspiration to such. That's real good news. Things were getting too dignified there for a while. Too classy.
Just for kicks I'm going to answer "no" to all of the questions; I'd like to think that it would screw up some weird, sinister scientific market survey they're conducting somewhere from behind one-way glass, analyzing complicated Project Humourous Button data and figuring out new and terrifying ways to fuck with our heads. If only it were true - somewhere, a bunch of condo people would end up in windowless underground bunkers with Russian faucets and an unexplainable Le Car fascination. Exist. Toil. Sleep. I think it's catchy, but man, I'm high as a sycamore.
That's Entertainment
Part of my ongoing salute to Vancouver, with a gentle poke at our fantastic fun-time party ghetto/Entertainment District.
