Let's get serious about pot! Oops, too late. But hey, if you enjoy a little indulgin' in the ol' "Mary Jane" now and then, why not crank it up a bit and turn it into a loud, clownish, and annoying way of life? Not only will you be learning more about rope and tunics than you ever thought possible, but you'll also be freaking out The Man. Now if only The Man could ever look at you without giggling and shaking his head. What's worse, this specimen - invariably going by some idiotic, ridiculously cliche old hippy handle like Captain Wizard - always seems to be elected spokesman for the local hemp activists, leading one to assume that this guy's practically conservative or lucid compared to the rest of them. Or maybe this is their vision of Utopia - who knows? Who cares? Got any Wheat Thins? But, hey - way to dispel those preconceived notions, Cap'n - thanks for all your hard work! Never mind the fact that the bud he's huffing is about fifty times stronger than that of his groovy forefathers, but maybe he could take a cue from them and the countless casual tokers before him and just shut the fuck up and smoke it.