(This one fell through the cracks, originally posted only on the Sinners blog. Might as well keep the set complete.)
Perhaps the more uber-middle class, more conspicuously consuming cousin of the Uptight Seattleite, the Khak-head is nonetheless all about "doing the white, er, right thing" and chuckling knowingly at the proper NPR programs. Donning his weekend trekkin' outfit, the specimen is wont to feeling on top of the world - because he is. It's his world, we're just living in it. Sorry, Sinatra - some smooth, runny World-Beat-Lite is more his bag, purchased at his local Starbucks, naturally, along with his complicated and safe coffee-free coffee. And safety is indeed a big issue for the Khak-head, for while he may appear to be quite crunchily Liberal, he's been buying into a lot of fear-mongering in the last few years; outwardly snickering at the notion that there are crazed, freedom-hating terrorists lurking behind his top-of-the-line sports utility lawnmower in the garden shed, but truthfully a little nervous about the possibility. I mean, he's got a lot of stuff. He still may be clutching that Utne, but once you start peppering your political chatter with the words "post 9-11 world," it's a slippery slope into the GOP goose-step.
Oh my god, its my DAD! You forgot to add that he lives some place "Green: but super expensive, like Vermont (snicker). I love this series by the way. "Shiny Butter Face" freaks me out.
Posted by: Anuchka | June 22, 2007 at 02:30 PM
Have you baned yourself yet? Or are you in the collection already?
Posted by: Organ Leroy | June 22, 2007 at 07:07 PM
This is so funny! This is the actual Seattleite that I know of. Just walk around by the market on any Sunday and you'll see these people all over the place.
Posted by: Carol | June 23, 2007 at 11:40 AM
Oh my god! You hit this one right on the money! My area is crawling with these guys...they suck!
Posted by: La Burladora | June 23, 2007 at 07:11 PM
I forgot about this one! You could also place him in West Van, but you'd have to add "3rd-gen Canadian, yet insists on using a fake British accent."
Posted by: Luc Latulippe | June 26, 2007 at 01:15 PM
You are my new hero! Awesome!
Posted by: Soo | June 27, 2007 at 01:54 AM
I call this one the "Seattle Sombrero Man" -- google that and you will see what I mean-- these guys are smug in the knowledge that they are more knowledgeable and prepared than the "Californians" they think have ruined their stink
A lot of times they can be seen with dark sunglasses (even on a stormy day) so they can check out the teenage girls and sneer at their inferiors. Tons of em on Bainbrige Island--must be a breeding ground.
Posted by: am | July 02, 2007 at 11:17 AM